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How To Love Yourself!!

Hey it’s Ruby & today I wanted to share with you all something that I have been working hard on the past few years of my life, & that is: LOVING YOURSELF!

I feel like in today’s society, especially as a young woman, there are so many standards we are pressured to meet. Whether that is how we should look, how we should act, what we should wear.

Society is out here telling us we need to look like models with a small waist, tan skin, big assets if you know what I mean.

Society is telling us that we shouldn’t show too much skin, we’re chastised if we do but at the same time don’t cover yourself up too much because then they’ll say you’re insecure or submissive.

Society is telling us to voice our opinions, but not too loudly. We’re told to love ourselves but if you do you’re labeled as being conceited….

So what should we do?

Honestly, we should say SCREW THAT, screw stereotypes, screw stigmas, screw labels. Screw anything that doesn’t speak love. Be you and unapologetically you, because YOU are WORTHY of LOVE.

YOU were created to be loved.

YOU were created not to envy others but to appreciate the beauty of all, including yourself.

So how can you do this?

  1. Eliminate Negative People From Your Life. You will have a hard time appreciating your beauty and uniqueness if there’s people whispering in your ear that you’re not that great. This can come in the form of a friend who just puts you down, whether that is in the form of actual insults, or just not supporting you in your goals and dreams. This can come in the form of people who comment negatively on your social media, I mean why just not block these people? They’re not even worth your time of day. Whatever it is, whoever it is, no one deserves to be in your life if they aren’t adding to it positively. It will be hard to grow and flourish and love yourself if you don’t surround yourself with people who encourage you to do so.
  2. Include Self Care Time. We all need time to unwind, to remove ourselves from the world and just be alone. I like to do this by taking a long shower, napping, going on a walk with my dog, painting my nails. Whatever it is, make sure you include time in your week to just let your mind be still and do something that you enjoy. This can greatly reduce your stress levels and give you time to do something that makes you feel good.
  3. Do Things That Inspire You. It’s important to feed your soul. To do things that make you feel excited and adventurous and truly happy to be alive. Do things that make you appreciate how beautiful life is and fill you with joy, because when you’re joyful it’s hard to be down on yourself. 
  4. Always Give Yourself Grace. I can’t emphasize this enough. We so often act as our own harshest critics. I know I constantly overthink things I say and do when other people probably don’t even think twice about it. It’s easy to tell ourselves that we aren’t worth it, that we aren’t good enough, when this isn’t true. Self love starts from within. If you want to love yourself, you have to give yourself grace. You’re human. We all make mistakes. Life can be really hard and screwed up and we can be part of it, but as I said before YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE. Even from yourself. Especially from yourself. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post & I hope you enjoy my new niche. I’ll be posting every Monday, or at least trying to! Enter your email to be notified about new posts! 


Xoxox, 

Ruby Marie 

 

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I Can’t Write About Something I Don’t Love 

      Around Christmas time I attempted Blogmas, and before that I’ve attempted to blog consistently for a over a year now, but every time I just can’t seem to stick with it. It would honestly pain me to write posts about nails and candles (although I do love candles) and all this materialistic crap that I wasn’t even interested in myself. But I did it because it’s what I thought people would want to read, and I did it because it’s what all of the big, popular bloggers did. 

     They have aesthetic, they have catchy posts about fashion and makeup and stuff that I just wish I could get into, but when I tried to do this, I was just a sub par version of their content. I can’t write about something I don’t love, about things I’m not passionate about. That’s not why I started a blog. Truth be told, I actually started a blog several years ago anonymously at the advice of a counselor to get my jumbled, self hating, depressed thoughts out & that was when I fell in love with the blogging world. 

     But not the blogging world I tried to be a part of when I started itsrubymarie because itsrubymarie is NOT a fashion blog, not a lifestyle blog, in the sense of cute aesthetic posts about dinner parties and such as I’ve tried to make it. No…That’s not what I’m passionate about. 

     I’m passionate about photography, about expressing myself in an artistic way, about mental health advocacy, about being a voice for those things that people don’t want to hear about. I’m passionate about Jesus and about people…And that, that is what I want to write about. From now on, that is what itsrubymarie will be about. 

Disclaimer: I know many of my followers probably follow itsrubymarie because of what it has been in the past, but I ask you to take a chance at this new journey & open your eyes to what I have to say (…or write) as it is truly what is closest to my heart. Also, this is no hate towards fashion & lifestyle bloggers, that’s just not me but I think y’all are amazing & wish I could look that cute all the time! 😉 

Thank you for reading, expect new posts soon & of course tons of pictures still. 


Xoxox, 

Ruby Marie 

Shoot me an email at rubyymarie.contact@gmail.com 

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Staying Strong in Recovery from an Eating Disorder During the Holidays // Blogmas Day 14 

I wanted to talk about something a bit more serious today. As much as I love movie and nail posts, writing about topics that can actually help people is much more near to my heart.

If some of you didn’t know, I used to suffer from Anorexia. It was really awful, and I remember during recovery and even in the depths of my disease The Holidays were so incredibly hard.

This season is centered around food, for someone suffering from an Eating Disorder, this can be a terrifying thing.

As part of recovery, I had to change my perspective on gathering to celebrate and eat. It was hard, so hard…and admittedly sometimes I still do struggle. But if I can tell you one thing, it’s that it got easier.

So here are some things that really helped me survive the holidays during my Eating Disorder & Recovery:

1. Adjust your perspective of gathering to eat,

Something that helped me immensely with this was Jefferson Bethke’s Book It’s Not What You Think, chapter 9, The Table’s Not What You Think. The chapter talks about how gathering to eat has always had a much deeper significance. Even back in Biblical times, eating together was a very special thing. Think of The Last Supper for example. Although this book isn’t designed to help people struggling with Eating Disorders, this chapter really helped change my perspective on getting together and eating. It’s about so much more than the food.

This whole book was amazing and I highly suggest reading it & checking the Bethkes’ YouTube Channel: Christianity Isn’t What You Think

2. Have An Accountability Buddy,

The second thing that helped me a great deal was having someone to keep you accountable.

It’s very easy to slide under the radar during the Holidays and not give yourself enough food. That’s why it is good to have an accountability partner.

Ask someone you trust to keep an eye on how much you’re eating and if you need to, even have them plate a proper amount of food for you.

My advice is to have this be someone like a friend or a parent and not someone who is also in Recovery.

3. Preparation is key, 

It is a good idea to discuss your worries about the upcoming Holiday and food situation with a counselor or someone that you trust.

This will help you come up with a plan and coping skills to make it through.

4. Avoid the temptation to isolate yourself,

It is very easy to want to crawl under a blanket during this season and not come out until the whole shabang of the holidays are over. I get it. However, that’s probably one of the worst things to do.

Don’t over exhaust yourself and go to every Holiday event there is, but make sure you spend time with friends and family.

It’s very easy not to eat when you’re alone, so make sure you are getting out there and being social. Even if it’s hard.

5. Celebrate the Victories, no matter how small, 

This is the time to give yourself some grace. It’s a hard season for people struggling, especially with something as brutal as an Eating Disorder. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you’re doing the best that you can. It’s okay to have hard days, even when everyone else around is so merry. It’s okay to struggle.

I just want to tell you that you can & you will beat this. It’s possible, it just takes hard work & persistence.

There is hope. Stay strong & always feel free to reach out to me for any help.

Xoxo,

Ruby Marie